What's in your purse?

This was a fun internet meme going around a while ago. I'm late to the party, but that's pretty much par for the course for me. When I first started seeing these I thought it was kind of a personal question--I mean, next are you going to show me what's in your underwear drawer? But it was actually interesting to see what people keep in their purses, and it can tell you a lot about a person. For instance, one of my debaters always keeps food in her purse (or backpack) because if she doesn't eat every 3 hours or so she turns into a Gremlin (just kidding...sorta).

I kind of cheated on this, because I left out the stuff I would take along with me when I'm out on tour with CJ (Pull-ups, extra clothes for her, wipes, food, toys, etc), which forces me to move from "normal sized purse" to "OMG can we put wheels on this thing".

Anyway, what's in my purse? And more interestingly, why is it in there?

1. Wallet: You can see my ID for work sticking out of the top. Why's it so small? When I travel for work I have to carry a laptop with me. Carrying 2 separate shoulder bags sucks, but so does having to lug a 15 lb laptop bag with me because it's my "purse". So when I travel I use a crossbody bag that just fits this tiny wallet and my phone and keys, and I keep all the other stuff in the laptop bag.

2. "Blah Blah" pouch: The dark side of having a tiny wallet is that the 300,000 store loyalty cards I carry around won't fit in it, so I keep them all in here, plus coupons and punch cards and assorted other paper crap. I should probably clean that out, now that I think about it.

3. Makeup bag: Which contains tissues, 2 Bare Escentuals Buxom Lipglosses, an Aveda lipstick, Bare Escentuals powder sunscreen (LOVE this stuff, it goes on like loose powder over your makeup but it's an SPF 30), blotting papers, nail file, band-aids, Dayquil, Listerine strips, and a hair tie (I usually have one on my wrist too).

4. Betsey Johnson sunglasses and case: A responsible adult would put her sunglasses back in the case when she wasn't wearing them. Mine are either parked on my forehead or tossed in my bag NOT in the case. So why do I carry the case? Mysteries like these are probably beyond both of our pay levels.

5. Keys: My keys have a keychain that is also a bottle opener. It has on it Joan Crawford's famous quote "Don't f--k with me fellas. This ain't my first rodeo." There are times when I need both the slogan and the bottle opener close at hand.

6. Pens: I'm really surprised I only have 2 pens in this purse. Generally I have approximately 46 tossed in there. Obviously one is pink. I generally have a purple one in there too. I once offered one of my debaters a choice between a pink pen and a purple pen, which was all I had. He gave me a crazy look and said "Who are you? Debate Coach Barbie?" (Yes. Yes I am.)

Not pictured: My iPhone, because it was taking the picture. I was late to this game too, I think I got it in the fall of 2009, but now I can't imagine how I lived without it. Need directions? iPhone! Forgot your camera? iPhone! Need to look up the debate caselist but can't get internet on the laptop for some reason? iPhone! Need to entertain a pissy 3 year old who's been sitting in the doctor's waiting room with an ear infection for 45 minutes? iPhone!!!!

The purse itself is a white patent leather Kate Spade that is like 10 years old. I have both a shoe problem and a handbag problem (well, only a problem in the sense that I'm running out of places to put them), so I switch purses a lot. For summer, this and a silver Michael Kors bag are definitely my favorites.

Anyway readers, what's in YOUR purse (or backpack, or satchel, or man-purse, we don't judge here)?